Just north of the european mainland (you can see it on a clear day) is a tiny island about the size of a large american lake. it's called Great Britain. it holds, at present, 60 million people. it holds 250 people per sq.km. Australia holds 2 people per sq.km. it's a vast difference i think you will agree. the trouble is that people are everywhere, except, it appears in Australia. people make problems. if people weren't about then problems wouldnt be. and qed, the more people you have, the more problems surely there must be.
now Great Britain, being in the middle of two great bodies of water has certain climates and weather patterns that you don't get everywhere, or anywhere else i think. we have this thing called rain. it's been with us since time began and we, as islanders have gotten quite used to it. the people in charge of Great Britain like rain as it keeps us grounded and stops us going out too much and congregating to discuss the unfair treatment of the aforementioned government. the government dont like us going out too much too, so the weather suits them fine. Also it decided to tax heavily anything that could be used a tool to gather and put in places laws and regulations that made life for the honest hardworking revolter more difficult.
now the rain has started to take the piss a bit and is slowly flooding the island that invented it. bit by bit, from the middle outwards really the ground is bogging and the endless low pressure is refusing to let it dry. peoples homes are flooding, then drying out then re-flooding on a 6 monthly cycle and it wont be long before the ground decides to skip the drying out period altogether. there is no hero to save us, there's this scottish guy who supposedly runs the country but he's not shaping up so well, and looks like he needs a rest. i don't know anyone called Noah who likes collecting animals and building boats for that `just in case` scenario so maybe a move to australia would be better. it hardly ever rains and theres no one to moan about it if it does.